7 Ways the Church Can Avoid Re-Traumatizing Survivors

When survivors of abuse come into the church, their stories and needs cannot be ignored. While some things cannot be prevented, there are many ways churches can prepare to minister with care.

According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), 1 in 6 women in the United States have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. For men, the statistic is 1 in 33. That equals roughly 1 in 10 people overall, meaning that sexual violence is not rare and that survivors are present in every community, including the church.

The average congregation in the U.S. has around 65 people. Statistically, that means 6 or 7 survivors may be sitting in an average church every Sunday. In a megachurch of 3,500 attendees, that number climbs to around 350 survivors within that community. Ministering with compassion and awareness of the people we serve is not optional; it is necessary.

In this post, I want to share seven things churches can practice to help prevent re-traumatizing survivors within their midst. While I am focusing primarily on sexual assault, trauma takes many forms, and these principles can apply to anyone who has experienced deep pain or loss.

1. Believe Survivors

A 2010 report found that only about 2% to 8% of sexual assault reports were false, which means more than 92% were valid. Yet many people treat survivors as if they are lying when the overwhelming evidence shows otherwise. This is where compassion must lead, because you do not want to destroy the 92% by reacting to the small percentage of false reports.

In many cases of sexual abuse within the church, survivors are made to feel like the problem. That is like kicking someone who is already at their lowest point. The church must commit to believing survivors first and investigating with compassion and care. In almost every situation, the allegations are real.

2. Protect Confidentiality

When someone confides in you, proceed with care. Do not gossip about what has been entrusted to you.

It is a horrible feeling to sense that everyone knows and is judging one of the most devastating experiences of your life. Survivors already battle shame and embarrassment. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, the famous passage about love, it says that love “always protects.” This is an opportunity to lessen someone’s burden by keeping private things private. At times, others may need to be involved to help address the situation, but everyone should be on the same page that sensitive information stays only with those entrusted to help.

3. Provide a Safe Space for Reporting

Churches benefit greatly from having clear, unbiased systems in place for reporting abuse. This does not always require a licensed counselor, but it must involve someone trustworthy, compassionate, and trained to listen well.

Survivors need someone who embodies love and empathy. They need to know their story will not become gossip, and that if there is ongoing danger, the church will take it seriously, even if that means contacting law enforcement. Having a safe and transparent system communicates that the church values both accountability and protection.

4. Trauma-Informed Leaders

Being trauma-informed does not mean every pastor or leader needs to become a therapist. It means understanding how trauma affects trust, emotions, and responses.

Something as simple as a careless joke, an insensitive sermon illustration, or even an unexpected hug can be triggering for a survivor. Leaders who are trauma-informed cultivate awareness. They learn to read the room, speak with sensitivity, and respond with gentleness.

Trauma-informed churches reflect the nature of Christ,  compassionate, careful, and intentional in how they handle those who have been wounded. This awareness is especially important in outreach ministries that work closely with hurting people.

5. Teach Both Justice and Forgiveness

Too often, churches want to apply grace and mercy to situations where justice is needed. God forgives, but He also disciplines. He extends grace to the repentant, but there are still consequences for sin.

When survivors are pressured to forgive while perpetrators are shielded from accountability, the church misrepresents God’s character. Forgiveness and justice are not opposites. A survivor can forgive and still deserve to see justice carried out.

David’s silence toward Tamar’s abuse shows what happens when leaders choose inaction. Tamar was left desolate while her abuser continued unpunished. When the church teaches forgiveness but neglects justice, it repeats David’s failure.

Forgiveness sermons or messages should never be used to manipulate, gaslight, or silence victims to protect perpetrators. True forgiveness frees the survivor from bitterness, while justice confronts sin and upholds righteousness; both reflect God’s heart.

In Tamar’s story, she was told to be silent and lived desolate in her brother Absalom’s house (2 Samuel 13:20). David grew angry but did nothing to hold Amnon accountable. Tamar’s pain was dismissed in the name of peace. Too many churches do the same, asking survivors to forgive while shielding the abuser from consequence. Forgiveness is holy, but so is justice.

6. Use Scripture Responsibly

Scripture should bring healing. When verses like “Love covers a multitude of sins” or “Do not gossip” are used to silence victims, they become tools of manipulation.

Survivors need to hear that God’s Word stands with them, not against them. The Bible is filled with examples of God confronting injustice and protecting the oppressed by calling sin what it is.

7. Allow Space for Healing

Healing takes time, and it is disingenuous to rush another person’s healing simply to minimize our own discomfort or inconvenience. Survivors should never be pushed to get over it or share testimonies before they are ready. The journey to restoration is deeply personal.

Churches that make room for that process create environments where survivors can breathe, cry, wrestle, and grow without pressure. When healing is not rushed, the process becomes effective and complete, and that is when authentic testimony will emerge.

A Call to the Church

Tamar’s story reminds us what happens when leadership fails to act, but it also calls us higher.

The church is positioned and has the opportunity to be the safest place in the world for survivors. When survivors walk into our congregations, they should not have to wonder if they will be silenced again. They should know they are seen, valued, and safe in the house of God.

TAMAR Series (There's a Message After Rebuilding):